Back to Work

So the time has come to stop lounging on the couch and go back to work.  Yes friends, I finally made the decision that it might be good for me to reconnect with society and remember how to be a lawyer.  Could be a challenge with all the drugs, chemobrain and general listlessness, but I'm sure I can hack it....right??? (If you work with me, please ignore this.  I am perfectly lucid, drug free and focused, promise...except for the chemo, steroids and other assorted drugs of course, they're forcing me to take that)  So I have to admit, I'm pretty nervous.  I mean, most doctors and studies say that you should continue working to the extent you're physically capable of doing so, but that's the thing... what exactly does physically capable mean?  Now, if I was a construction worker, the answer would be clear.  I absolutely would not be physically capable of doing my job.  I can barely lift two pound weights, let alone aim a hammer in the right direction (not that I ever could aim a hammer in the right direction... does anyone else find that surprisingly hard?).  Anyway, unfortunately, I'm not a construction worker.  I am a lawyer, who for the most part, does very little heavy lifting or physical labor.  My primary tool is my brain, which one would think, now that I'm off narcotic pain killers, should for the most part be fully functional (of course, one could argue that my brain was never fully functional, but I digress).   The problem is that when the body is failing you, the mind usually follows suit, so how do you know whether you're physically capable of doing your job?  Well in my case, the realization that I could possible go back to work (on a limited basis) came when I was sitting during one of my off weeks from chemo and realized for the first time in months that I was bored of sitting in my apartment.  In spite of my newly acquired anemia, digestive issues and general fatigue (is this TMI??), I found myself wanting to rejoin the world and find something different to talk about than the Big C.  Unfortunately though, because of the newly acquired anemia, digestive issues and general fatigue, my physical capacity is somewhat diminished.  So what is a girl to do?  Definitely don't want to impose my "issues" on my co-workers, but I also don't want to be BORED (nor unemployed).  Well, I've decided to give it a go... part time.  Now for anyone who has ever worked at a New York law firm, you know that "part time" is tricky.  Clients don't really care whether you're part time or full time, they just want want they need done, which on top of the "billable hour" is why many lawyers are up until 2AM doing their clients' bidding.  Well in my diminished state, I CLEARLY can't work until 2AM, I mean, I have cancer people!  Ok, ok, fair enough. No one will make me work until 2AM (I don't think).  But if something needs to get done, what will I do?  Well, the answer my friends is balance.  Yes, my job (on top of doing my job), is to find the pot of gold at the end of every lawyer's rainbow and achieve B-A-L-A-N-C-E.  I need to do what every lawyer fears doing, which is stop communicating at a certain hour and be comfortable letting my voicemail fill up after 5PM.  Now to normal people, this may be no big deal, but as my fellow lawyers know, not checking your voicemail when your bberry tells you that you've received a voicemail is as anxiety inducing as finding out that you need to keep a gas mask at your desk in order to protect you in case of a fire or terrorist attack.  So this is my challenge.  Gotta become the Tibetan monk of the legal world and achieve the Nirvana of balance (without of course pissing off a client or unloading work on already way too busy coworkers).  So I bow to you all, as I pack my lunch box and rejoin the corporate jungle.  Wish me luck!!

As always, thanks for reading.

Straight from the trenches,

DT

PS This post in no way represents the views or opinions of a the law firm where DT works, which will remain unnamed because as aforementioned, these are not the opinions of such law firm.  (Hey, I am a lawyer. Had to be done. Maybe I can do this!)

PPS If I work for you, please ignore this post.  As mentioned above, I am completely lucid, drug free and focused, ready to take on anything you throw at me. :)